[:

2011-02-06T02:13:00.002+08:00

Can i have yesterday back? ♥

Had BBQ at Denny's house on Friday evening.
Had tons of fun. <:

2011-01-25T18:57:00.002+08:00

Hello, today had the alpha camp from 8am to 5pm. I thought it's fine, i pretty much enjoyed it.

It was held at the Lower Peirce Resevoir. However, it was a pity that the rain came at about 11plus and ruined our day, therefore we had to walk back to school. By then, the rain grew heavier and heavier. But, some of us used the big poncho and hid under it for shelter together, hehe. It was really fun, because i dont think any of us really experienced such thing. It was really epic and hilarious. Hehe. I was practically standing under it without helping, hehe, only letting my shoes to be stepped continuously by Yu Heng. LOL. We reached the traffic light before school, and had to dash across together. But at the second one, Mengdi started running off by herself, and one of us slowly followed leaving Sithu behind. Hahaha. Had lunch at about 12, but didnt eat much since i wasn't hungry. The rest of the day were games and etc, and we were dismissed approximately at 4.30 or 4.45 (;

2011-01-23T21:32:00.001+08:00

Daddy brought me out for new year clothing shopping today. ^^

OH AND, EVERYTIME I WALK PASS THOSE SHOPS WITH STUFF TOYS, I'M BOUND TO SPOT BIG CAREBEARS AND OTHER GIGANTIC PLUSHIES!

I WANTTTTTTTTTTT. )':

2011-01-22T19:46:00.002+08:00

Went out with tohning today, to play basketball. Then we went northpoint, walk around. Took pictures, etc. Im lazy to elaborate, but i had a lot of fun ^_^.

2011-01-15T22:52:00.002+08:00

Well this is my 911th post.

Had CCA orientation today.

I was supposed to meet mengdi at 7.30, but i woke up at that time instead.

Nothing much, i ate pretty much today. Lunch with mengdi in school.

After that went to bugis junction with Tohning to have our baby donuts.

Shen Ee and co. called me, asking me to go to Yishun Safra. So i went only after i've finished everything with Tohning. Bought taiyaki too, hehe.

Took the MRT with Tohning, and back to Yishun. Headed off to meet the rest, at Yishun Park.

Bryan and Wilfred left, so the remaining three of us chatted. It started raining once in a while, but we continued despite the rain, haha.

Shen Ee about an hour later, so there was only Guorong and me.

We had a long chat till about 5.30 or so, and then went home.

I'm planning to go for a run early in the morning tomorrow, hopefully finding a place.

So i'll be going off now. Don't really have the mood to do anything right now, just felt like sleeping away all my troubles. I'm so vexed like shit now.

A lot of things to think. Sigh. Like what the hell.

2011-01-14T22:34:00.002+08:00

Hello, i suppose my blog's dead anyway.

I don't really bother to post that often anymore.

Anyho, i've already started studying, since i dont wish for last minute revision.

Almost everyday i will revise my work.

But i'm hoping to go one chapter ahead.

Sigh, i really wanna do well for this year.

Therefore i've been cutting down on my computer usage.

Yes i do leave my msn on, but i'm hardly sitting infront of the laptop.

I know it's a waste of electricity though.

There's nothing much bothering me right now,

but there's this problem which will never go away.

Because it makes me think alot. But either way, i think school's alright for me.

I'm determined to work hard this year, hopefully, in preparation for next year.

But i dont really intend to go on to JC.. I'm not sure yet. Maybe i'll change my mind, who knows.

Sigh.

And i'm sort of happy,

because i received an award for first in standard in sec2 home econs, 2010.

I didn't expect of it, so i'm surprised.

Okay, nothing much. Tomorrow gotta go back to school for Sec1 CCA orientation.

& I have no idea about the details. Lol.

Somehow, i feel so pathetic, in a way.

2010-12-31T22:14:00.003+08:00

Wow i swear i want next year to be a better year. -.-.

been updating my private blog again, pretty much....

SCHOOL'S REOPENING!!!! ♥

I can't wait to go back to school. Home's boring, and sometimes it sucks.

2010-12-31T01:22:00.004+08:00

Hah, freaking no mood. I bet i cant sleep again tonight.

Im sick and tired already.

Yeah, again.

But today, i saw many cute carebears, hehe.. Some have ribbon.

Somehow, carebears can make my mood better, in a way.....

Argh. I presume next year's no different.

2010-12-29T23:16:00.002+08:00

Frustration.

stop thinking about itttttttttttttt. sigh.

2010-12-24T19:29:00.004+08:00

Last night, had a conference call with wilfred and bryan for about an hour. Because we were really bored. Hehe. It was damn fun. School's reopening soon, i wonder how next year will be like...

As for today, went to my dad's and aunty shirley's office. Because both of them work in the same company. Did homework and some drawing there. After that. we went back to Northpoint for lunch at Sakae Sushi. My stomach was already aching when we just reached Yishun, but i thought it was nothing. However, it got worse when we were settled for lunch. It ached like some shit and i couldnt eat my lunch at all. -.-. I barely ate, since it was only 3 small mouths of noodles. And so, my food was wasted, i lost my appetite, and it's so painful i could really cry. ): Then, we headed for our movie. We watched Tron. Honestly, i didn't quite appreciated it, hee..

Tomorrow's christmas, and this year, its something different for my family. I shall blog later about it, or else, tomorrow.

Although i never talk much during conference calls most of the times, i know i feel happy just by listening to my friend's voices.

2010-12-15T21:15:00.002+08:00

Hi, i was searching for my music and i finally found it. Dad finally brought back my homework!!! He was supposed to bring it back on monday though ):. Gonna start my homework tomorrow. Holidays are so boring. I've lost interest in internet. Was supposed to go offline since i was bored, but ended up chatting with Bryan. Haha, he told me about his trip to Australia, jealous >: Now he's off to have dinner, so i'm bored again. The story was getting exciting and stopped. Hmmmmmmmm. End here now. (:

2010-12-07T19:50:00.002+08:00

" I will learn to be free... "

It's been pretty long since i watched that drama, but i like the musics. Hee. I realised i still kind of like musics, and those classical type, maybe that's why i like pianos, violins, guitars, flutes. Obviously, i've lost interest in using the internet already. So i've stopped watching my japanese dramas for quite some time. However, i've collected... i suppose 4 of my drama dvds. But i don't feel like buying the rest now. Now i just really want to buy the drama tumbling. But i can't find, tsk. I've bought my books yesterday, and before that, went to alex's school. HIS BOOKSHOP IS A SMALL POPULAR STORE. -.-. A lot of things inside, envyyyy. ): And their books are cheaper. ... So bought some there. Shall not elaborate more. Have been staying in my new house for a week or so. I like it, hehe. But i'm gonna stay at amk for a few days since everyone's going to Thailand, and i will have to take care of my grandfather. Sigh, shall go off now. Bye.

2010-11-24T22:32:00.000+08:00

All these thoughts are so sudden .

2010-11-20T22:44:00.002+08:00

Speechless.

I swear this drama is freaking nice . Heeeeee .

Played basketball as usual today and yesterday , and ran 25 rounds yesterday , 15 today . Sprinted a bit , and the feeling was great . It felt troublefree . Anyway , finished packing my stuff already , the rest would be packed on the day we're moving out . Gotta do my stuff now .

And maybe it's just me but , ever since i saw yamamoto yusuke in J-dramas , i seriously think he looks a lot like ernest -_- .

Have got no mood to blog now , bye .

2010-11-14T22:39:00.002+08:00

" Show me the beautiful world , "

I'm not embarrassed to say but , i still love Barbie Movies . However , I FREAKING HATE THE DOLLS . Heheh . I have quite a few of the collection , but i can't find the CDs . I loved them alot when i was young , and that theme song is from "Barbie in the 12 Dancing Princesses" . I remembered how I really loved that music . Its really nice . It suddenly came back into my mind just now , and i quickly searched for it . But it's stupid because they dont have any original soundtrack . But there's a song for the movie .

And this is another version of the theme song .

Lastly, i also like the theme song from " Barbie as Rapunzel " ^^

I'm pretty lazy to find the rest , shall find them tomorrow . But im so tempted to watch the movies agaaaaaain , so long since i've watched them .

Streaming results out tomorrow , )': . And gonna be busy packing stuff cus moving house .

Shall go to sleep now , <:

2010-11-14T21:31:00.001+08:00

Boooooo , Alex actually managed to get pure science ): . But he didn't get Amath . While i got Amath and no pure science )': . Sigh . Up till now i'm still upset about my science , tsk .

......

2010-11-12T20:20:00.002+08:00

Don't you think the music's nice ? Hehe . I love it . Its from Tatta Hitotsu No Koi .

Went to the movies with Guorong , Bryan , Hannah , Ernest and Kangwei today . I'm lazy to elaborate , but ,

happy birthday guorong ^^ .

2010-11-11T18:59:00.001+08:00

Family don't exist for me .

What the fuck .

Sigh , when is this gonna stop ?

2010-11-06T19:11:00.003+08:00

I played 2 hours of basketball today ! And , it was drizzling a little . The feeling is super great . I remembered i first loved basketball when i was 5 years old .. My mom even bought me a jersey before , hehe . Oh well , it sure feels good after playing , and while playing . Drank 3 glasses of water after returning home . Bathed , and now having dinner . Probably try to play basketball everyday , 1 to 2 hours at least . ♥

But my dad doesn't seem to believe that i played alone , what the shit . -.- .

I'm gonna continue my drama now , bye .

Somehow, i smiled naturally as i approached the basketball hoop.

And i know, basketball still makes me happy after all .

2010-11-03T11:35:00.001+08:00

I really really want a time machine to go back in time .

2010-11-03T08:07:00.002+08:00

Sigh , i woke up at 7 for nothing . Only to realise today that the basketball thing in the condo was removed , .... . This condo dont even have a proper basketball court , wth -.- . I planned to start playing basketball again this holiday , ): . Guess i have to figure another way ...

Happy Birthday Vino Low Kah Wai childhood friend ♥

2010-11-02T15:27:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I wish I could just shut my eyes forever .

2010-11-01T09:52:00.002+08:00

" I want to go back in time "

Apparently I only slept for 4 and a half hours or so .. When i lay on my bed i still couldn't really fall asleep , sigh . I have no appetite for breakfast , its like so hard to swallow . Now i'm alone at home , and im more afraid now . I used to be less afraid because my dog's there with me .........

Fuck my life -____- .

What am i supposed to say ?

2010-11-01T04:46:00.005+08:00

" I closed my eyes as I hear the raindrops fall . "

Finished watching 1 litre of tears , the drama is so so nice .
Anyway , i shall not blog about my chalet ...... Have got no mood . And today's like the worst day ever , i swear ):

It rained on and off just now , and i still cant sleep now . Sigh , guess i'm gonna blog at my priv.blog again ..

Happy birthday mommy ,

Happy birthday winnie .

(:

Because i feel so lost , and this world is only full of confusion . a place where i can no longer find my smiles ...

2010-10-31T00:37:00.002+08:00

I'm too full to sleep right now . When I get back home i'm gonna exercise like mad . These two days ate quite a lot ): . Had bbq today , hehe . I'm tired , but i can't sleep . Sigh , gonna watch my drama till i want to sleep . I dont feel like going home ........

2010-10-30T00:44:00.004+08:00

" The bright blue sky reminds me of all the happy moments . "

Hi . Currently at chalet now . And it happens that its located near the Changi Campsite , hehe . All the aeroplanes flying pass reminds me of the camp . Finished watching episode 6 of 1 Litres of Tears . Gonna sleep now , hee .

2010-10-29T00:20:00.002+08:00

I'm like packing my stuff halfway , and bryan kept scaring me with some comments again . zzz . i wonder how i'm gonna sleep later ......... plus its so many times already ):

sigh , the whole house's pretty quiet now , and i dont dare to move . -.- . and i dont even know what to pack , and not even sure if i can wake up tomorrow ..

2010-10-28T23:07:00.002+08:00

" Someday, we must say goodbye . "

I guess its time for me to blog anyway .

Firstly , gotten back my result yesterday . I suppose i'm quite disappointed , and upset because of my science . ITS THE ONLY SUBJECT I GOT A 'C' . WTF . -.- . And obviously , I didn't qualify for pure science , and i'm not even offered combined bio chem . Great , I don't even need to consider physics or bio already . Honestly , I've been aiming for pure science . And there it goes , sigh . And , this way , even if i want to become a vet some day , i probably couldn't . Because my science sucks . )': and Bryan actually qualified for his pure science , jealous shit .

Well , at least i'm quite satisfied with my results , minus the science part , i'm happy . My class position was 6 , which was something I didn't really expect . But still , i really really wanted pure science , wth . ): . And science always ruin my mood . Sighzz . Probably getting art next year , and hopefully i get geography ..

Went out with tohning , clarisse and laura yesterday . but laura went kfc . ate lunch with the two of them at pizza hut , and went to the playground opposite amk library . had so much fun , hehe .

Today was the last day of school . Time flies so fast , it felt as if we were just promoted to secondary two not long ago ... Two years gone just like that , and so many things happened . True , the class isn't that united , but , i still love each and everyone , hehe . But I dont look forward to next year , I only know i'm afraid of certain things , and , I guess i really must study really hard . From the beginning of the year. Lets just hope i really do it rather than just saying it anyway .

The day started off in a really good way , because Maple , Hannah and Desiree wrote letters , and Claudia gave lollipops . Desiree gave sweets to the whole class too . At least the day started with many smiles (; Not to mention the ribbon on the lollipop Claudia gave , somehow reminded me of drama , the fox tails . LOL .

The rest of the day was pretty boring , and i fell asleep in cclass somehow . After school went to TPY Mac with Mengdi , Colin and PTK . I was really full from recess , but i still managed to finish my meal .. Except for the fries . Went home at 1 plus , watched my japanese drama . And exercised like mad in the evening .

Now , i was watching the drama halfway and there's some problem , sort of lazy to restart the laptop . Supposingly i'm just gonna pack my stuff for the family chalet with my mom and relatives . Sigh , home sucks anyway . Everything like some crap only . ):

I know i'll miss all the good times , as well ..

2010-10-22T23:21:00.003+08:00

" A loyal friend is worth ten thousand of relatives . "

Today , i had a really awesome day . No doubt , it's been a long time since i've hang out with people from school . And this feeling is so great . (:

It was my first time going out with Tohning . I took 980 ( i hate this , i didn't know where to alight ) down to bugis to meet her . I met her at about 5 plus or so . Then we headed for dinner at MOF . Ate Japanese food , it was great , hehe . And thank god Tohning is a slow eater too , else i bet she'll be rushing meeeeeeee . :P . I suppose she's someone i can really enjoy my meal slowly , heheh , because other people rushes me ): . And so , we ate and chat and etc . After dinner , we walked around . Dropped by action city , and we bought something we thought really really cute . I decided to buy my carebear some other day , heehee . Not to mention there were a variety of cute cute cameras there ! AND INSTANT POLAROID CAMERAS . (Y) Then , we walked around awhile more , and headed to illuma to look at pdm watches . On the way we bought sweets , AND MY SWEET WAS LIKE , HALF GONE . LOL . Soon later , we went back to Bugis Junction . WE SPOTTED THIS LIMITED EDITION BABY-G WATCH ! SO CHIO , ): . But its like almost $200 . Finally , we headed to eat our donuts ! It was her second one though . She tried the " Tira Miss You " ( Tiramisu ) . THE NAME'S HELL CUTE . HAHA . While i tried " Why Nut " . Its White chocolate with peanut butter filling inside . I SWEAR IT'S DAMN TASTY . We sat inside the cafe-like area and enjoyed our donuts . Hehehe . It's really addicting , but , nope . It was late and so , i didn't get another one . We wanted to eat the baby donuts , but it only come in a box of 24 at $11.50 . We're gonna try them next time , hehe . Best , we're planning to go for the Japanese Cakes and Sweets Buffet ! :D At about 9pm , we headed seperate ways , ;)

It was really enjoyable today , i've never enjoyed myself for so long . Thank you Tohning (L) .

It turned out much better than i have expected actually . (;

It's really fun hanging out with you , heeeeee . ♥

Next week kind of busy , am meeting Kahwai for lunch on Monday after school , and probably going for lunch with Tohning , Nikki , Laura and Clarisse .

AND STREAMING NEXT WEEK . -.-

Weekends are here again .......

Sigh , i'm really upset about something .... I hope that it will never happen .

2010-10-21T16:03:00.001+08:00

This world is fucking cruel .

2010-10-19T17:20:00.003+08:00

" So hard to ever forget about you . "

What a bad start for the day . I almost cried in class over my science results ): . It's like all my efforts wasted , sigh . And , its so cruel . I'm short of 1 or 2 marks to get A2 for Geog & Math , and A1 for chinese . Sigh . ): . But overall other subjects are alright . I guess i really really must study really hard next year , no slacking . But yep i know , by then i will still be wasting my time away maybe . It's easier said than done . ):

Screw this . And i watched Parent Trap again , never gets tired of that show . Been my favourite since small . Hee .

AND I'M SO BORED AT HOME , AND I HATE BEING HOME . ): I WANNA GO OUT OUT OUT !

2010-10-17T23:19:00.003+08:00

" I've lost so much hope , in everything . "

Fucking no mood now . Like really . So stressed like hell . I hate this stupid meaningless world -.-

I've lost confidence , developed fear , and doubtful thoughts .

After so many things that happened , i wish i was never born .

2010-10-16T02:05:00.002+08:00

" Once again . "

Now , im lazy to resize the pictures . All im thinking about now is to sleep .
Apparently , i spent my whole day drawing . Hee , feels great , ♥
Gonna sleep now , bye .

Happy birthday Denise Choo !
My apologies , but i hope you'll enjoy your day , best wishes to you , ^_^

2010-10-15T13:22:00.004+08:00

" Like an angel watching over me . "

Awww , haven't really blogged . Now that exams are over , it's total yaynesssss . I can do whatever i want now , hee . Seriously , this final year examination , felt so longgg . And so so so stress . ): . It's finally god damn over , ♥ .

Now , i'll have a plenty of time to read and draw . ;)

Sigh , but i'll have to worry about my results first .
Praypraypraypray . Let me pass all my subjects please ): .

Ney , i'm missing primary school so much . ♥

And now im also dreading these two weeks because it'll be the last time 2e2 will all be together in one class . ): .

Oh well , i wanna meet mommy real soooooooonnnn !

Your voices seem to echo in my head everyday .

2010-10-03T01:06:00.005+08:00

" Exhausted . "

Ohhhh , spend like the whole day since 3pm till now , doing my math . Completed everything , except for some questions , i tried , but still can't get the answer . Finally , its bedtime for me , ♥ & I can study for other subjects tomorrow , (Y) .

I'm gonna take a quick bath and off to accompany my lovely lovely bed . <: Bye !

2010-10-01T20:47:00.002+08:00

Okay , i cant stop blogging . Im so dead bored . Maybe i shall continue reading my book later ......

Yay , i've started writing all my feelings onto papers and folding them , waiting to buy some glass container or those bottles to fill in with after exam . & I dont know how long later im gonna throw them into the sea at some beach zzzzzzzzzz . Sounds stupid but , i dont know why . I like doing such things .

BAD MOOD , BAD MOOD , BAD MOOOOOOOOOOOOD !

2010-10-01T20:33:00.001+08:00

.... Enough troubles already . Sigh . And yuxuan making me feel like crying now , urgh !@&%*!*&#%!*@^!

Sigh .. Should i like lie on my bed , listen to my music , enjoy aircon and think about some stuff , or stay up late on the comp and staring into blank space .. ?

FMLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL .

2010-10-01T20:20:00.003+08:00

" Now that my world's upside down .... "

MY BROTHER IS LIKE WTF !!! ARGH . ...

DONT FUCKING TREAT ME NICELY WHEN YOU NEED SOMETHING AND SCOLD ME WHENEVER YOU WANT LA . WHY DOES EVERYONE LIKE TO TREAT ME LIKE A FUCKING SPARE TYRE ? WHEN THEY NEED SOMETHING , THEY COME TO ME . DONT NEED , THROW ME ASIDE . LIKE , !!!!!!!!!!

TODAY LIKE SO SHIT . THANKS . Shall not elaborate . Zzz . Taking a break today , no exercises , no studying . However i finished my art just now . Somehow im starting to love science , math , studying or whatever . I swear next year im gonna try studying everyday even before exams , since i have nothing much to do anyway . Dont know what to do now , sigh .

I'm so fed up , like really really fed up . ):

2010-09-30T20:09:00.002+08:00

" Maybe i'll just pretend to smile , to keep things in a better situation .. "

Hi , another song . (L)

I loved this song a lot , and i'm listening to it again recently . Hee .

Alright , i feel so tired after exercising . Drama was , L O L . P.E , one word . COOL ! Mr Siva allowed us to play by ourselves , any equipments except badminton . I played my basketball hee . Ages since i've touched it . Sweated quite a lot , and i felt like running . Since i've got the chance , and i could relieve some of my stress . So i was desperately finding people to sprint with me . & I thought of tohning . We ran from one end to the wall , i couldnt really stopped and slammed against the wall with my left knee , therefore there's a huge blueblack there now . So painful , aww . But worth it i guess . So funnnn . Other than that , nothing much . After school , I ATE A LOT . Cus i was too hungry .

I screwed quite a bit of my chinese oral . ): . BECAUSE . I thought 2E1 boys were supposed to go first . IN THE END , MS CHIA TOLD ME TO SIT AT THE SILENT READING CHAIR AREA . I was like , huh , me meh . -.- . Everybody asked , and ms chia said its not . ... ): . I didnt even read the notes for the last few times . WORSE OF ALL , the conversation i was hoping for came out , of course ... I DIDNT GET TO READ THRU MY NOTES BEFORE THAT . I was reading other topics . ... And so , i screwed part of my conversation due to blank out , and nervousness , and i jumbled a bit of my words during the passage reading , sigh . Hopefully i passed . OH AND , JIANG LAO SHI IS SO FRIENDLY . (Y) .

Went to popular , wanted to look for origami paper . Or squared coloured paper . Couldn't find . Guess i'll have to ask Aunt Chyrl where she got her origami papers from . She owns a so called shop , her origamis are cute . But i lost the bookmark she did for me , -.- .

Lastly , i was so tempted to buy a new carebear just now ...... I want to collect . And , there's so many more things i wanna collect . ): .

Alone at home , sigh . GONNA STUDY NOW ! BYEEEEE !

2010-09-29T18:58:00.002+08:00

" I'm .... Speechless . "

Hi , ate dinner early . About an hour ago . Doing my exercises after studying later . Just finished blogging at my priv blog . Felt so much better ... Alright . Bye . Chinese oral and drama exam tomorrow , like wtf , its drama again . ):

2010-09-28T20:16:00.003+08:00

" Maybe i still can't catch up with you . "

IM PROBABLY DOING LOUSIER THAN PREVIOUSLY FOR CHINESE -_- .

Yes , i freaking dozed off at the last passage for mcq , and i spent so much time reading one passage because i cant freaking absorb or understand a single thing . But i managed to finish the paper in a very ..... ..... I anyhow do for the comprehension part . Not really counted as finished though . But i didn't leave out any questions ... TODAY'S SO TIRING . WROTE SO MANY WORDS . GREAT . And thank god mr lee asked me not to worry about NYAA first and focus on exams instead because its his fault that he didn't send me the softcopy . :P

Passed Abbie the money today . Didn't expect to see Kahwai , Ding Chao , Terry and Ray .
KAHWAI GREW SO EFFING TALL . SO UNFAIR . He was really short , even shorter than me before ): . BUT YOU MADE ME MISS PRIMARY SCHOOL ! AND I STILL REMEMBER OUR FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL . I forgot how i became your partner in the morning .. BUT I REMEMBERED YOU GOT MAD BECAUSE I PARTNERED JONATHAN DURING RECESS LOL -.- . And you didn't talk to me after that when we were being paired by ms devi permanently or something . And i remembered clearly we were supposed to ask for each other's names . Ms Devi asked me yours and i couldnt answer . Andddddd . I REMEMBER YOU TURNED BACK AND TELL ME YOUR NAME IS VINO LOW KAH WAI , IN A VERY BUEY SONG WAY . LOL . Now that i think of it , i really want to R O F L . Oh and ! Few days later you gave me a .... toy ??? My mom got angry with me and asked me to return it to you -.- . HAHAHAHA .

GONNA STUDY NOW & SLEEP EARLY . BYE .

2010-09-27T19:57:00.002+08:00

" My world is filled with darkness again . "

Sigh , what's wrong with the year 2010 for me ? It seems like everytime just before my exam , something bad happens . And then i cant focus at all . I can't believe that in one night , so many things can happen . Not to mention ..... I dont know what's going on . I'm so stressed out already oh please ): . So many problems yet one can't be solved . Furthermore .... I dont feel welcomed at home . Like seriously , out of nowhere i really really feel like crying . ): . I mean ...... Sigh . I'm not gonna elaborate here ........ After the exams im gonna buy a huge glass bottle and papers and write in them . Stuff them inside the bottle . TOTALLY REMINDS ME OF SOMEONE . HAHA . Morning , daddy said something which really made me really sad , and during the bus ride i was hoping i could control for long . Best part is , last night i managed to control more of it maybe ? Or maybe not ... I cried everything out about all my problems to sleep . .... . STUPID . ARGHHH . ND I HAVE ENOUGH OF PEOPLE ASKING WHY I'M _______________ . Not like i want it either ..

Made a new friend today , Li Na . :D . AND BRYAN GOH I WON YOU FOR PHYSICS !!! TOLD YA HEHEH .

Off to study again , but i can't focus at all now ...... Somehow i really wish im off wandering in the streets now . ):

BOO , I WANNA SHOUT OUT LOUD NOW . -.- .

AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I PRAY THAT MY DAD DONT MEAN WHAT HE SAID THIS MORNING . ELSE IM REALLY GONNA BE SO HEARTBROKEN ): .

What the hell is wrong with you ? Why , you're always blaming me for everything . I mean , can you make up your mind ? And when something goes wrong , you always come scold me . NEVER EVER MY BROTHER . ADULTS ARE ALL THE SAME ZZZ . But , you're not my who anyway . I just dont get it why . ..... I wished i never knew you people , but how is it even possible . YOUR KIDS . WOW GREAT , THATS REALLY INSULTING ..

2010-09-26T10:38:00.002+08:00

ZZZ . Walao eh . I've waited for mr lee to send me my nyaa softcopy for 1 week already . On friday he say he will send me at night , till now havent send . He gave me till monday to submit , how am i supposed to do ): . Wth . Sigh .

Woke up at 8.30am today , wanted to wake at 7 , but then i didn't hear my alarm . Ate breakfast , watched tv awhile . Now gonna study math , then chinese and home econ . Test tomorrow , ): Hopefully the math test isn't tomorrow ...

ONE MORE DAY OF DETENTION !!

2010-09-25T22:59:00.002+08:00

" Your voice , so musical & peaceful . "

Hi , i hate myself . -___- . I totally wasted my whole day . I woke up at 12.30 , my alarm was too soft for me to hear , not to mention that i was too tired . And then , i wasted my time all the way till about 3 plus . I exercised , and finished bathing etc , at around 4.3o . Continued wasting my time till 5 plus 6 , went for dinner till 7.30 . Reached home , again WASTED time again , 8.30pm started doing english . And i just finished the chinese compo now . I DIDN'T STUDY TODAY . WTF . ): ! Stupid . Sigh . I'm gonna sleep now , and wake up early tomorrow to study . Been sleeping kind of late for the past two days cus of the tests and homeworks .

I PRAY THAT I'M ABLE TO WAKE UP EARLY TOMORROW .

GOODNIGHT .

2010-09-25T00:31:00.002+08:00

I'm still awake ! Probably sleeping after i do 50 sit-ups after posting .

I never knew webcam's so much fun . I've always hated webcams . And today's my first time doing it . Hee . Webcammed with PTK , Mengdi and Colin . Ugh , if my brother wasn't in the living room , i would have sneaked out and go over to Colin's house till tomorrow morning .

But anyway , i'm off to sleep soon . Bye !

2010-09-24T21:34:00.002+08:00

I definitely missed this song , hee . This is one of the songs i never got tired off . I somehow stopped listening to it because my computer reformatted . And i think i lost this song . Have yet to redownload it . Well , this song always reminds me of Dominic Tay . -_- . Probably because it was his blog song , where i got to know this song . And it brings back memories , when we hanged out . LOL . And you teached me the bicycle halfway ): .

OH GOD I FLUNKED MY GEOGRAPHY TEST , AND MAYBE SCIENCE TEST . EFFFFFF . )':
Geography was so damn hard ! Agree ?!

F&C was awesome , but the weights is so much heavier than i thought . I can't even remember how heavy was the one i tried carrying at YCK's gym . But still , i like the gymmmm . I was all sweaty because i was really into the fitness part . SO FUN . Running ! (Y) . And i'm so glad , that i love exercising . Heheh .

I shall skip the rest of the day , because there isn't nothing much except ...
TESTS TESTS TESTS .

Had detention again today , Ms Fidah says i'm left with 3 and a half's hour . Which means i'm only left with one more day , which is next monday ^^ . Finally ! Oh , left school with Laura after that , talking to her is so fun . SHE MAKES ME FREAKING HYPER . Got home , did my sit-ups as usual . Kind of tired to do other exercises today , shall do them tomorrow morning .

Taking a break tonight for the week , continue studying tomorrow .
But i hate it because i can't really focus as much still , i tend to daydream a lot , FOR HOURS . LIKE , SERIOUSLY !!! STUPID HABIT URGH . & then i spend hours on one freaking chapter or staying at the same page . ):

Daddy's gone to genting with Auntie shirley they all , left me alone with my brother . And my brother's probably not staying home much , and so i'm alone for the next two days . Also , it's most likely i'm gonna be alone at night tomorrow too ): . Though i hate being at home that much , i rather there's someone home at least .. Because i'm afraid . Sigh , i'm being such a coward . ...

2010-09-23T20:43:00.003+08:00

" For such a long time , i've never laughed as much . "

Hi , after this post i'm logging off . Came online to find pics for dnt . Thanks laura , for helping me print <: .

Today , i had so much fun during P.E . I hardly sweat as much during P.E lessons except for running/2.4 . We played tennis for the second time , damn epic . Heheh , we played 5 players . Because mr siva gave us a bigger space outside the ISH . Played with Fann , Nikki , Shijia and Alice . Hee . Other than that , nothing much really happened . Science was sort of , L O L .

After school , had detention . Went to the hall and finally found ms fidah there at 2pm . Sat there and studied till 2.30pm when she asked me to go over to the detention room . Dismissed earlier at 5.15 or so , because i went early . However , it made no difference because 855 took so long to come . Even Asril was dismissed from the detention already . He came along with Guo Yi and Brendan . Mrs Yau was there too , and she missed her bus . They were laughing and Mrs Yau was saying that they only knew how to laugh instead of helping her flag the bus . ROFL . We all boarded 855 except Guoyi . Chatted with Asril on the way to Yishun Interchange . Found out that he stayed quite near but not so near (?) from my house . And he couldn't remember me boarding the same bus as him this morning when i actually sat somewhere beside beside him , and he knew i stays opposite khatib camp , yet he can't remember what colour the condo is . And he said its brown in colour . LOL . Topped up my EZ-link card and we took 800 . I alighted at block 235 there , and collected my contacts before heading home .

IM GONNA SAVE MONEY !!!!! FOR SOMETHING . But i shouldn't spend money on it actually .

Sigh .

Geography and science tests tomorrow , off to study now , <: .

LAURA'S ON DETENTION DUTY TOMORROWWWWW !

I'm wondering ....

2010-09-20T22:34:00.003+08:00

" You'll be the one and only for me . "

Hi , i'm going to sleep after this post . Shall make it a short one if possible .

Nothing much , didn't really have appetite during recess ... But something was quite , hilarious , but i'm not so sure what they were up to . LOL . Had detention in the hall after school , went at 1.45 . At around 3plus guorong missed called me . And he was asking me to go bishan park to play or something . So exactly at 5 wilfred happened to call me when i'm dismissed . Told me to go over , and bringing 3 bottles of ice lemon tea for them . Heavy , sigh . My arms were like breaking from my files and books . Not to mention that my chinese file's spoilt . Sweet . Went there , played truth or dare , with guorong , zhan wei , wilfred and joshua . Haha , damn cool . Was laughing like some mad dogs LOL . We left around 6.30 , took 169 to yishun with guorong and joshua . Joshua went to take the mrt , while me and guorong headed to the interchange . He left and i went to buy my waffle for dinner . Because i didn't felt like eating anything else . And the funny thing was , after so long , i went to the interchange . Guorong was still waiting for his bus . -.- . And i didn't see him until i sat down somewhere . I was searching for my bus queue . And his was DAMN LONG . (Y) . Went back home after that . Did my exercises as usual . Finished the whole of chinese during detention , on foolscap . I did only a bit of geography , not so sure how to do ): . And yay , half day on wednesday because of some O level results thingy i think . Cant remember . Heheh . Hope i've got no detention on that day ........

Heavy bag tomorrow , + maths extra class + detention ( only if my math class ends before 6 ) . ... Sigh . And i'm planning to go order my contacts after that . ):

Time to sleep , nights (L) .

I'm missing you every single day , every minute , every second .

2010-09-20T00:38:00.005+08:00

" This world is filled with cruelty . "

OH WOW . HOW GREAT . TOTALLY SPOILT MY DAY , THANK YOU .

Okay , i shall elaborate about tonight tomorrow maybe .

Please , take me away from here . I dont feel that i belong here ...

2010-09-19T12:33:00.002+08:00

" I've got no courage . "

Heeee , i love this movie ! I wish i can watch it the second time . It's nice and cute . Caught the movie at 10:50pm , Jubilee , with my aunts and uncles and brother last night . Cinema was totally empty except for 4 more outsiders . I even got to eat my glutinous rice balls at the hawker centre at amk central . (L)

But , i'm glad i'm studying ! I spent my afternoon studying maths yesterday before going for the movie and im still studying right now . Well , attending aunt joey's wedding dinner later , heheh . Time seems to pass so slowly , it's only 12.30 now . And it felt like 3 o'clock or something . Sigh .

Last but not least , i love mooncakes . They're so niceeeeee !

Found these on the net . So cool . LOL .

2010-09-18T16:43:00.003+08:00

" I see you in my dreams "

And so , i went to the gym with guorong and zhan wei today . Bryan couldn't come because he had tuition and Qinwen didn't turn up as well . Waited for guorong and zhan wei for like half an hour to one . -.- . Zhan wei's friend happened to be there , and he's like kangwei . So hardcore . If i'm not wrong he's a malay who speaks chinese . I thought he might be from some sports cca , but instead , he said he's from red cross . Hm . I ran on the threadmill for half an hour , and then another 7 minutes or so . Tried to do my sit ups there after that , but my stomach muscles felt as if they're tearing , and so it hurt badly , therefore i only managed to do about 6 . ): Guess i'm gonna do it later in the evening . However i find it easier to do at the gym instead . I tried holding the weights (?) The ones with the metal pole , forgotten how heavy it was , but i know its the lightest . SO FUN , SO COOL . (Y) . Love the gym , heheh . I wanna go more often after the exams . Trained back with guorong at around 1 plus , went to have my lunch while he went back home . After eating , i went home , alighted two stops earlier and walked . Sat at the swinging chair at the condo near the playground area for half an hour before heading back .

Although i never really asked whether you're coming , and neither did you promised to turn up , at least you cared . Thank you , somehow , it lightened my day .

There's something wrong with me today , it was either me , or the sun . My vision felt extremely bright when i was under the sun , looking at the floor or straight ahead or anything . ): . I wonder what's going on , its so unusual . Sigh . I'm scaredddd . I hope it's nothing . Boo .

Why are you always so impatient and scolding me ? You never even scold my brother . You're so bias . All i could do is keep quiet instead of explaining for my own rights . Because i know if i open my mouth and say something , you always claim that i'm talking back and scold me more . ...

2010-09-17T20:44:00.002+08:00

" As long as i can see that you're happy , nothing else really matters . "

Nowadays i have got the motivation to study . That's why i'm trying to return home early almost from monday to thursday . Except for fridays , because i dislike going home . Uh yeah , and now i've got a week's detention next week , which is before EOY examinations . Damn , i'm so so so regretting about skipping CCA quite often thru out the year . ): . Sigh , i've learnt my lesson , i'm never ever gonna do it again . Even if i want to , i must cut down a lot . :/ . Now , i guess i have to bring my books to school everyday next week to study during detention . Heavy bagggg . >: But , there's one thing i'm so .... Speechless maybe . Don't understand why the school has to be so strict about this thing . Negative and positive and etc . INCLUDING SITTING DOWN IN 2S . Like what the ... ): . So strict can ? They're getting stricter and stricter every month . ...

Might be going to the gym tomorrow morning , yay , out of home . Gonna sleep early tonight , i'm making it a good habit . Less usage of lappy . :D . Bye !

On second thought , maybe i'm really interested in art after all . Hee .

2010-09-16T20:54:00.002+08:00

" I'm only afraid , of losing you . "

YES !!!!!! BEAUTY SLEEEPPP . IM FINALLY SLEEPING AT 9 PLUS ! 8 HOURS OF SLEEP ^^ . But yay , i've been using the computer less , and studying more , and sleeping early too ! Not to mention doing my exercises daily . Hee .

div align="center">Alright actually i could have spent some time reading my science textbook , but i'm so tired right now . Had art club today , was told to draw anything i want . And .... It sucked ): . I wished teacher taught us how to sketch more often . I love sketchingggg . Unlike painting and colouring and etc . Oh i'm not sure whether im supposed to go to detention tomorrow ): . Anyway i guess even if its not tomorrow , i might be going for detention some day soon . Because i skipped CCA too much during one period .... When loads of bad stuffs happen . Sigh , i hate it when my mood affects me , and i skip CCA . This sucks -.- .

Well i guess i really have got a small appetite . I'm full after eating one bun or something during lunch today . ): . And mengdi told me that when she was young , she feel hungry easily . But i'm like , the total opposite . I can't even finish one meal that time . Plus , i noticed small kids always eat alot , but i don't . Somehow , i feel full easily , tsk . But i still think i'm growing fat , maybe . -.- however , my stomach's aching for so many days thanks to my daily sit-ups (Y) . Honestly , sit-ups are so fun . I'm doing at least 100 - 120 a day , and i did a lot more yesterday . In the afternoon before lunch i did 270 , well of course i rest for a few seconds or a minute before continuing about another half of it . At night , went for dinner with aunt and uncle and brother . I regretted ordering lagsagne , its so filling . Plus , i realised its kind of fatty . Can't blame me , i didn't eat before . Anyway , it felt as if my efforts in the afternoon were wasted . So i did another 80 at night before sleeping . And yep , my stomach's aching badly right now . But still , exercising's great . :D .

OFF TO SLEEP NOW YAYY . BYEEEEEEE .

Why am i always afraid , when you're not even mine ?

2010-09-12T00:27:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANNAH ! ^__^ .

best wishes , and smile loads , heheh .

2010-09-11T00:17:00.002+08:00

" I have no idea where i am because i'm lost all alone . "

Yep , caught this with daddy today ;)

Apparently , i spent my whole day out with daddy at orchard instead . Firstly we went for lunch before heading down to Paragon's M1 shop to return our broadband device , which is long ago . After that we walked around , and checked out for the movies timing . So we ended up with 7.15pm's slot at the cineleisure at somerset . Spent 3 hours at people's park , and i found my pants !!! But its 3/4 though , not the long one . Oh well , i still love it , and daddy bought it for me , heheh . So long since i've spent time with him . Went back to somerset , sat somewhere and waited for time to pass . Went to watch the show , and ended at 9 . Took 167 back home (: .

Aww , gonna eat medicine later . Dad bought panadol and the cough syrup thingy ? ): . Hate medicine . Anyway , my homeworks are completed so ... Just that my english isn't printed out , how ? ): . I'm left with art though , shall do it slowly on sunday or tomorrow .

STEP UP 3 WAS AWESOMEEEEE . WAY BETTER THAN THE PART 1 AND 2 HEHEH .

2010-09-09T18:29:00.002+08:00

Oh great please , i feel like dying right now ): . I kept felt like vomiting , but i wish i'll just vomit and get it over . -___- . Mannnnn i wanna see the doctorrrrrrr . D: . This sucks , school's reopening soon . I'm happy , but . I hope i can recover by then . I was planning to go out and buy some stuff today , but then .. I slept once in a while . I slept at 1plus , and then again at 4 . Now im halfway through maths still . I cant focus . ): . I feel like eating apple ... I want some fruits . -_- . Ever since that apple since aces day , i somehow kinda like apple . Ughhh . How am i gonna go out and buy the things i need . ....

2010-09-09T15:18:00.002+08:00

Walao . I hate being sick la . -.- . My headache come back again . Slept for two hours . Lucky Christian last minute cannot . And i can rest . Now i'm gonna do my maths . Sigh . No medicine . Plus when i move my eyes my head aches . ...... I dont even know whats wrong with me . Screw this . Heard she's on leave tomorrow , by all means , i'm going out . -___- .

!!!!!!!!!!

2010-09-09T00:03:00.001+08:00

Wow this totally isn't good . I'm doing my chinese homework halfway , and i started coughing really badly . Adding on , im certain im gonna be down with a bit of flu real soon , sigh . And , i think there's oral next week ? I dont know . ):

2010-09-08T20:49:00.004+08:00

" The feeling of insecurity is still within me . "

OMG THIS SUCKS !!! I'm totally running out of voice kay ): . And my sorethroat and cough is so painful , sigh . And it ruins my appetite pretty easily . I have no idea what to eat . More of like i don't really feel like eating , but i still managed to anyway . I'm meeting christian tomorrow , 10000000000% yayness . I'VE GOT SO SO SO SO MUCH TO TELL YOU . I BET YOU'LL BE INTERESTED TOO HAHAHA . -.- . Maybe ... That is if my throat gives in to me tomorrow !

Well , maybe i should go do my chinese homework now . Thank god i'm not the only one who weren't able to access the english homework ^^ . I'm left with ... 1/4 of bio , maths and chinese ! Hopefully i can finish by today . Except for bio though . ...

Wow i really didn't know how to enter the house just now . So cool right . I felt like staying outside instead of going in . Yay , again , i greet , no reply ^^ . Aww so sweet . Like real . Daddy's lying on my bed . He's always hiding in the room when things happened . ... . And great , he nagged me and everything again . Oh sorry , if its really my fault , just because i sleep too long on weekends ? What ? Weekdays go school , everyday wake up at 5 plus 6 , weekends are the only times i get to sleep right ? Say what , give people bad impression ? Sorry , i don't need to IMPRESS HER OKAY . I dont impress people . And neither do i have the freaking interest to impress her . Who is she anyway ? My mom ? "MOM" . Ah , i totally have a bad impression now . Thank you . I still haven't forgotten what shit she actually accused me and backstabbed me to timothy okay ? And i dont even know what else she said to alex okay ? Oh yeah , and that freaking thing ruined my mood before my camp started . So great . I CAN CLEARLY REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE WORD OKAY . Even if she likes me , its all fake , alright ? I dont trust any freaking person in my family . Except for my aunts . Why ? Because people i trust can tell me , " I'll see for myself " . That person probably know who i'm talking about . Its not that i want to bring up things that happened already , BUT YOU GUYS SIMPLY ABUSED MY TRUST OKAY . I treated her like my real mom , oh and this is what i get . Whatever it is , she's already showing me and telling me that she doesn't like me . YAY GREAT . I'M SO HAPPY . I'm so fed up of this house already -_____- . I would really rather be some beggar on the streets rather than staying in a place with no love , warmth , a place like hell with no trust . ......

Hey how can you break your promise ? ....... Forget it . I tried so hard to not break the promises i made to you , and you simply broke mine just like that . ... But i guess maybe it didn't really mean anything , so i probably shouldn't care anymore . Fyi , i'm not angry i guess ....

2010-09-08T00:00:00.002+08:00

Alright , 12am .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YEW SHEN EE ! :D

YAYYYY . 14 YEARS OLD ALREADY ! SORRY , I DONT KNOW WHAT TO BUY YET . HAHAHA . ALIEN TOY ? (Y) . Anyway , thank you , for being such a great friend . And being so caringggggggggg . May our friendship last kay ^^ . AND DONT JOKE WITH ME FOR NO REASON . Cus i dont find them funny LOL . :P

2010-09-07T23:08:00.002+08:00

" I don't think i can hold back any longer , because i'm falling apart already ... "

OMG FML . SCREW THIS PLEASE . WHATEVER SHIT LA . WHY IS IT MY FAULT AGAIN THAT YOU BOTH QUARRELLED ? SORRY IF YOU REALLY THINK IM NOTHING BUT TROUBLE , MIGHT AS WELL JUST THROW ME OUT OF THIS HOUSE ! .... I'VE HAD ENOUGH OKAY . EVERYTIME YOU GUYS QUARRELLED , IM ALWAYS BEING BLAMED . YEAH RIGHT , YOU THINK THAT IM REALLY A TROUBLE-MAKER . BUT WHAT DID I DO ?!?! IF ITS BECAUSE I DIDN'T GREET HER REGULARLY , THEN THATS A STUPID REASON OKAY . BECAUSE SHE'S SO HORRIBLY UNREASONABLE . PLUS , WHENEVER I GREET HER , SHE DOESN'T EVEN BOTHER TO REPLY . WOULDN'T I THINK THE SAME WAY ? BUT SHE REPLIES MY BROTHER . WHAT , BIAS ? -.- . TELL YOU WHAT , I SERIOUSLY DONT WANT A FREAKING FAMILY LIKE THIS !!! I'M REALLY SO ENVY OF OTHERS OKAY . THEY'VE GOT SIBLINGS TO CARE FOR THEM , AND LOVING PARENTS . I REALLY WISH IM A SMALL CHILD RIGHT NOW , SO I CAN CRY WHENEVER I WANT TO . AND THAT I STILL HAVE THE NICE FEELING OF BELONGING TO THIS FAMILY . BUT MY FAMILY'S BEEN BROKEN UP LONG AGO . ...

You really make me feel that im nothing but trouble , because of all this , i dont feel the love i once felt , i dont see the same person i once knew . All i know is being hurt by you , by all the words you ever said to me .

I seriously miss the good times when i was a child , and now i have to control my tears so badly , and its so difficult ....

2010-09-07T21:22:00.003+08:00

" I love you more than anything else . "

Omg omg omg . I still can't find the keychain ever since daddy lost it ! ): Booo , i'm so dead . That was a birthday gift from christian , and it means so much to me . -___- . Ugh , sorryyyy ): . Currently i'm reading geography textbook , can't really understand tsk .

Not even words or actions can describe how much i really love you .

2010-09-07T18:57:00.003+08:00

" Maybe i'm still living in my little world filled with confusion . "

Screw this , i hate being sick . I'm like having cough and sorethroat now . Even the taste of plain water sucks . I totally hate the taste in my mouth whenever i'm sick . -.- . Plus , my whole body hasn't stopped aching since yesterday . I wonder if its muscle aches . Adding on , i have no idea whether i'm running a fever . Tsk . Why am i getting sick so often lately anyway ? ZZZ . Slept kind of early last night , because my headache was seriously killing me . And i had no energy to do anything else . Also , my internet connection's having an unknown problem since last night till now . Currently i'm at mac using my laptop . Planning to go home when my battery flat or something . Or maybe by 8pm .... I spent my afternoon doing the holiday assignments . And i only managed to finish my physics worksheet , and 3/4 of the biology worksheet . Read chapters 23 and 24 of Geography textbook , planning to go home and finish reading chapters 25 and 26 , and then complete the worksheet . If possible , i'm trying to finish my homework by thursday ... Hopefully . Else by friday . Took a short walk at northpoint , bought some bread for dinner . I guess i ate bread for the whole day , because i've got no appetite for any other stuff ... Sigh . I hate cough . Boooo ): . For some reason , I cant open the english homework . Wth . ...

But anyway , i guess i can't watch Bokura Ga Ita today . I watched up to episode 11 yesterday though . So cool . Sigh , guess i'll end here ....

Freaking hate holidays .

2010-09-06T16:33:00.002+08:00

" Maybe i'm losing my courage all over again . "

My god , i seriously feel like dying right now . ): . I've been having a bad headache for the whole day , and obviously the taste in my mouth sucks pretty much . Not only that , i'm sort of having a slight cough , and my whole body's aching real badly . And now i wanna measure my temperature , my thermometer's spoilt !!! ): Sigh . What should i do ? And i dont wish to eat medicine again D: . I freaking just had a high fever two weeks ago , why a second time ? )': . Plus , this means i can't do my exercises because i've got no energy ! ....

Bokura Ga Ita's nice too . ^^

2010-09-06T00:54:00.001+08:00

WTF !! YOU PROMISED TO CALL FOR PEOPLE TO REPAIR THE OVEN DURING SEPTEMBER ! AND NOW YOU SAY YOU'RE NOT CALLING ALREADY . -____- .

2010-09-05T23:30:00.002+08:00

" I can't find the real me anymore . "

!!!!!!!

I swear i'm gonna leave this freaking place one day if i can !

Alright forget it . So i spent my whole day at my grandparents house . And guess what , i spent hours drawing and listening to music at the same time . From 1pm - 10pm . Cooool . I've got no idea what to draw .. Plus , i've lost touch in drawing all the fingers and eyes after not touching my drawing pencils for so long , i guess i have to watch more anime again . Since i've got no computer there , i couldn't browse for some pictures to get the rough idea . Therefore i drew this . Not perfect but , i tried to draw them as nice as possible -_- . I hope i didn't insult anyone !

Oh and , they look really weird to me , )': . What a failure . -.- .

Well , i wanted to draw more , but i'm really tired . Probably drawing more after the exams , or when i'm resting or something . Sigh , and then i'll try to improve on the drawings . :/ .

I'M SO GOD DAMN BORED NOW . Oh and , i swear i'm gonna watch this a second time some day ! I still miss it ! (Y) .

2010-09-05T10:35:00.003+08:00

" I wanna run away from this unhappy place ... "

Went to swim yesterday . Because my mood was shit again . Felt so good after that . ... Now i wish i can go swim or exercise again . .... I'm going to amk for lunch later , maybe up till night time . I wonder if dad quarrelled with her again . ......

IT IRRITATES ME WHEN PEOPLE LIE , AND MAYBE I REALLY DONT BELONG TO THIS HOUSE __ .

2010-09-04T14:53:00.002+08:00

" Because i know its not possible , not at all . "

Just finished playing dota . With Jasmine , Guorong and Wilfred . Morning i dont know how many times they spammed call me . But i still slept till 12 . Heh . Wasn't that bad . Now i'm so bored . I wanna go out , but i dont know where to go . Yesterday was really a shit one , but thank you Bryan for cheering me up , and Guorong for being so understanding . I'm glad , really . (:

ARGH I WANNA GO ESPRIT !!!

Until that day comes .... I'll be waiting .

2010-09-03T22:43:00.006+08:00

" After so long , i think i'm really regretting everything . "

Alright , i know this is the third post but , i can tell you i freaking hate myself right now . I can't believe this , i'm so freaking disappointed with someone . Sigh , i feel so much better after blogging at my private blog . But then , i'm still feeling so shit , sigh . I really dont know what to do . I wonder what will happen if that day do comes .....

Why do i still miss you and our friendship ... ? But i know , even if this thing's over , it's gonna be a lot harder , to even trust you , again .

2010-09-03T21:59:00.003+08:00

Hey look , the boys were so short back then . And now they're all so much taller , especially Bryan . I'm like about one and a half head shorter or something at least .

No reason , but i'm missing the old times so much . .... But then i think some things weren't meant to be . I should really just stop thinking about it . Sigh . Not that im not happy now , its just that there's certain things i can't forget about . My god , i seriously feel like crying now . Or maybe ......

But still , i really want to thank all the people who had been there for me , and everything else . I appreciate , treasure and love all my friends , you guys are the best (:

2010-09-03T21:04:00.004+08:00

" Disappointments , but yet i flashed back on all the memories . "

Yesterday's Learn @ Peirce programme was pretty enjoyable . Joined inline skating , since i've really got no interest for any of the other choices ): . Joined last year too . Sigh . After school was supposed to go lan . Wilf , Joshua , qin wen and Julius went first . While me , ernest and shen ee waited for Guorong , bryan and zhan wei . Took ages , LOL . Then we headed to look for the rest when they came out , and we wasted our trip there . Because they headed to Thomson plaza for lunch , for some reason . So we went to find them while B and Shen Ee went back to school . I was in a dilemma because i didn't know what to eat . Why ? They were at KFC -.- . Fast food , tsk . Could have gone back to school because its much cheaper and , less fatty . In the end i still ate , snackers . Sigh , but something really ruined my appetite at the point of time .

... And so , they waited for me to finish before heading back to school . Inline skating started around 3.30pm - 4 . Gears and stuff , so confusing , tsk . But the 2 hours lesson was pretty fun , and that guorong pushed me back just because i tugged him a little for fun . I fell down because he pushed so hard !! ): However this year's lesson a bit less detailed than last year's . Last year we did loads of things . Now that i think about it , i think last year's inline skating was a bit more fun than this year's . Because Denise and the rest of the girls were there too .

Ended at 6 , was so freaking thirsty that i totally broke my record of drinking one bottle of green tea in about 1 - 2 minutes . Cool . We slacked around in school for awhile , and went seperate ways . Took 855 with guorong as usual , and homed .

As for today , F&C WAS COOOOOOL . But i suppose im looking forward to the next lesson ^_^ . We went to the gym today ! And Mr Lee gave us a theory lesson . About muscles . And the gym equipments . Now i know , losing weight must include cardio AND muscular section , not only cardio ): . But Kangwei they all were right about the calves part . Boo , i totally want to go to the gym again . And i was right about the back muscles thing la , guorong tell me what is not back muscles is called shoulder blades . I dont knowwww . But still , the next lesson's 3 weeks or so away ): . Lessons were ordinary , so i shall skip elaborating them .

Common dismissal had our prize giving session . We won 2nd for the inter class bench ball competition last thursday , awesome . That includes Hannah , Desiree , Maple , Winnie , Shijia , Mengdi and Laura . Sweet .

Had lunch after school , and our class tee's finally being sent in for making , and i think we're getting it 2 weeks later if im not wrong . At first i put my real name , but after that Ernest ask me whether i want to put my name as the Pen.____ , the one i used in dota . Since the rest put then i agreed . Bryan's name freaking long , i wonder how it's gonna look like . Because Guorong said Pen.Guin was ... LOL . So Wilfred went home at 4 , Ernest accompanied me awhile more .

After he left i started on the homework i have in my bag . I finished literature , and almost done with geog workbook , hee . At least i made use of the time . Because i hate going home , especially on fridays . NCC ended at 6 , waited for B and G to change back to their uniform , and we headed home . Again , 855 . Guorong's such a good friend , and he breaks off his sentence midway everytime . Tsk -.- .

I'm so full right now , and i feel that i ate a lot . I'm seriously not used to eating 3 proper meals in a day . Although it seems pretty appropriate and normal .. But i used to skip recess and lunch most of the time , but now that i eat 3 meals , i feel that i ate too much . Hmph . I wouldn't have eaten 3 meals if someone didn't check on me so often . LOL . Oh well i shouldn't think that im growing fat so much . ):

Argh , now i'm having muscle aches , and i realised its actually my whole body , not only my arms . And the back of my knee has got a blue black , because of the gears yesterday . I think it was too tight and i somehow bent too much , i dont know . So is my butt , because at first i wasn't sure how to stop , and i just fell on my butt to stop myself from rolling . ): Sigh , i'm so tired . And Wilfred freaking said to dota so early in the morning , that's crazy ): . And Jasmine's playing tomorrow toooooo . ^_^ Heheh .

Well i was supposed to go to shen ee's house today with ernest to discuss about the bbq , ended up we didn't . And i also not sure why , LOL . Plus , Ernest wouldn't stop pinching my cheeks everyday just because he says its nice to pinch , zzz . My cheeks are gonna get fatter if this continues , ): .

Sigh , and i realised i haven't watched my anime for so long . ...
You've changed , or maybe you didn't . Its either you're no longer the person i know , or i finally see your real self . I hate you , i can't believe it . I've given you , and we've given you a lot of chances , but you blew them away . I seriously hate you for treating her , doing this to her . And you can even make up so many stories , drag in one innocent sec1 girl , and even push the blame to me , even dragging someone from other class in . What are you ? Are you heartless ? Is this how you treat your friends ? This isn't the first time anymore . I thought you would treasure her at least . .... And you abuse her trust . How could you ?
Why am i so bothered about it ? I don't need you anymore , everything's over . but i have mixed feelings , because i know i may miss you when you're gone ....

2010-09-01T13:16:00.005+08:00

" I dont belong here anymore . "

Four words , you are so bias . What about him ? You never even say a single thing . I sleep earlier than him , and he ? He games all night . You don't even know that he's even playing during the morning before he go to school . All you do is scold me . ...

Alright , didn't blog these few days because im lazy . I've been going home pretty late , heh . Monday , went to the gym with guorong , bryan , shen ee , and kangwei came later . Ran on the threadmill for half an hour . And then i watched them . I freaking tell you !!!!

KANGWEI IS SO HARDCORE !!!

Before that we went to shen ee's house . Ernest was there . Slacked around till 3 . Then ernest went home . Ernest and bryan kept complaining about their mcflurry , LOL . After gym , we went swimming . Well , i never swim so i sat there watching . And chatting with kangwei . He left at around 6 for his track training .

The rest stopped swimming a while later , waited for them to bathe . Then we headed to cheers . Bought a bottle of the juice , minute maid's . The one i drank at hannah's house about a month ago . BECAUSE ITS SO NICE . HAHAHAHA . Shen ee left then , while bryan and guorong bought cup noodles . Sat somewhere and watched them eat . They kept saying that it's really hot , and spicy . LOLOL . Finished around 7 , then went to the MRT . Boarded the train to yishun with guorong , and i headed to the foodcourt for dinner . Freaking no seats and i have to go to yoshinoya . Tsk . Because if i wait , i wonder what time i'll reach home . Plus , my phone's spoil !!!!

And i really wonder how guorong they all carry the weights and everything .. Bryan let me try holding the 5kg one , i couldn't -__- . Then he took the 2.5kg , i try hold , i also can't , dots .

But , the gym's really an interesting place . Though i only went once , at my condo . But it's so small . And the public gym's so damn cool , awesome ! :D

Yesterday , didn't go back xishan . And i found out lelia didn't go too . Because , really , there's like no point going back . But yeah , i do wanna see a few teachers thats all . Hung out at amk with guorong , shen ee and wilfred . During the bus ride was damn stuffy , and guorong was looking as if he's having asthma . LOL . Nothing much , and we ended up going to shen ee's house . They played playstation . Wilfred left earlier , then i think i fell asleep for awhile . At about 6 plus , shen ee and guorong was playing this alien game . Damn epic , HAHAHA . And its so lame please . Went home with guorong at 7 , i was like pestering him all the way back to yishun about something . I could have pestered him more because both our bus lanes were at the same place , but his bus came the minute we alighted from 851 -.- . So i waited for my bus , and headed home for dinner . Omg i really shouldn't have promised someone not to skip any meals from now on ): ): . Because he threatened not to talk to me . Tsk . Oh well , nevermind . <:

Home today , sad . Booo . My phone damn fail . -.- . Maybe gonna have lunch later outside , shall see . Hmmm . ):

2010-08-29T21:53:00.002+08:00

" Irritated "

Isn't that video cute ?

Aww , should i exercise now ? AND TIME PASSES SO SLOW .

Oh and im so irritated , pissed , and annoyed .
Sorry , maybe you think i've changed into some heartless person . I dont know . But , YOU CANT FORCE ME TO LIKE YOU , OR TO LOVE YOU . YOU KNOW BEST . ... . I , also dont know how we stopped talking . BUT . There's something really personal . FOR WHY I DISLIKE YOU . ... And she can come and tell me , " You both confirm cant make it together this way !! D: "
I asked her , together as in ? She said , " Couple ?! " WTF . DO YOU KNOW IM SO PISSED BY THAT ? ... She said you're miserable , but dont know whether i am . What ?

YES , IM SO MISERABLE AT HOME . HAH . -.- .

SCHOOL TOMORROWWWWWWWWWW . (Y)

I don't want this type of home . Tell me the definition of love , warmth , and home . I no longer feel all these . I feel fear . And the sad memories lingered by me , everyday ...

2010-08-27T23:56:00.003+08:00

I'm gonna use vulgars for this post . ...
I'VE HAD ENOUGH LA WHAT THE FUCK .

I FUCKING HATE YOU . YOU SPOIL MY DAY . YOU FREAKING MAKE ME HATE HOME .
I'M SO SCARED OF GOING HOME BECAUSE OF YOU .
YOU COME INTO MY ROOM , KEEP YOUR STUFF . WHY THE FUCK MUST YOU THROW MY STUFF ? MUST BANG THE CUPBOARD DOOR IS IT ? WHATS THE PROBLEM WITH YOU ? IF YOU QUARRELLED WITH MY DAD AGAIN , WHAT HAS IT GOT TO DO WITH ME ?!?! YOU SHOW THAT YOU'RE ANGRY , AS IF YOU'RE FREAKING PISSED WITH ME .
WHAT DID I DO ?! ....
IF YOU BOTH QUARRELLED , CAN I NOT BE DRAGGED IN FOR ONCE ?
I ALWAYS END UP BEING THE ONE AT FAULT WHEN I DID NOTHING . FUCK .
WHAT THE SHIT AM I ? MY DAD CARES SO MUCH ABOUT YOU .
I NEVER SEE HIM BOTHER ABOUT HOW I FEEL . HE FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOU ONLY .
HE JUST WANT TO BE WITH YOU OKAY . IF YOU BOTH QUARREL , IM WRONG . ALWAYS . LIKE I CAUSED EVERYTHING . FINE LA , HAVE ME FOR WHAT ? SHIT CRAP .
AND HE STARTS TO SCOLD ME THIS AND THAT , DONT DO THIS , DONT DO THAT .
DO WHAT ? JUST TO PLEASE YOU AND NOT TO MAKE YOU ALL BREAK UP .
MAKE THINGS WORST . I KNOW . BUT , I DID NOTHING ! AND MY FEELINGS ARE NEGLECTED . WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME ?!?!

): ): ): ): ): . SCREW THIS .

I wish i'm in school right now .

I wanna go out now . But i can't .
I wanna cry my heart out to someone , but i don't know who .
I HATE THIS STUPID HOME ! IT DOESN'T MAKE ME FEEL GOOD AT ALL .

I don't feel the love , i don't feel that i belong here . Maybe i don't even belong to anywhere , anyone , nor this family . Having a sibling is like having none . People tell their siblings their problems . I can't . ... . What is this ? ...

If i have a choice , i will never come home .

Never . I don't ever want to see ANY of you . Yes , and i mean you . ...

The obvious people reading . I don't care , whether you're offended or not .
BUT IM FUCKED UP ENOUGH ALREADY OKAY .

2010-08-27T19:03:00.003+08:00

" I'm a happy girl now . "

Hi . I'm only happy in school now .

Let's see , home is hell . HOME IS HELL . HOME IS FREAKING HELL .

Hate you , freaking freaking hate you . Hate this home . (Y) . I'm not gonna care WHO reads my blog anymore . MY BLOG . MY FEELINGS . SWEET . HEHEH .

I greet you , always no reply . And you look like you're so pissed everytime . Make me don't feel like greeting only . Tsk , but if i don't greet , i get scolded and nagged at . Sweet right ? Wow .

I'm like transparent at home . Great , i love it . MUCH . ( Like real kay ^^ )

I know , whatever you care , your first priority . Hahahaha . Thank you so much . Seriously i wished my aunt and uncle were my parents instead . The only few family members who understands me , who really concerns about me , are them . And my grandparents . I love them ttm okay <: .

What's with me anyway ? I don't know . And i dont know who really care for me in this house .

Like no one , not even my brother . How disappointing . I'll lock myself in the room everyday .

And again , i get scolded . What can i do ? i feel like running away from home . I hate going home . I love to stay outside . I hang out in school doing nothing . That's better than heading home . Seeing faces i dislike . Seeing faces which would make my mood turn bad . Seeing people whom i would really get hurt by . And yes , IM SO SICK AND TIRED .

Attitude , and everything . SUCK OKAY .

Scold me , argue with me , i don't care anymore . I don't wanna care how you all feel already , i realised i've been neglecting my own feelings , and i feel so god damn stupid these months .

Well , school is getting quite better , for me . Though this year , so many happened at home . But i got to know how many great friends i have surrounding me . They're the real friends , or should i say i treat them , love them , treasure them , like they're more of a family , or more than a family could be . For those who had been there for me , thank you . About the previous incident , thank you too . You all know what i'm talking about clearly . I'm really really grateful . ^_^ .

Okay , LIAW SIEW YAN IS SO CUTE CUTE CUTE ! OHMYGOD . HAHAHAHA .

Right , i really dont know what to blog about lately . My phone is freaking pissing me off . I can't switch it on ........ ): . Sadded like so much . Sigh . I don't know what's wrong with it . Maybe sony ericsson do suck , LOL . I'm lazy to exercise now . Perhaps at night or tomorrow . But i'm busy . Tsk .

Don't like the feeling at home , hmph . I'm so jealous of others ....

2010-08-23T21:29:00.005+08:00

" A broken heart for the night . "

Ate really little for dinner today , have got no appetite at all .

Eff . I feel like crying right now . Over a stupid stuff . I'm so wishing christian , jiamin or yuxuan's here beside me .... ): . Meet up soon . During the holidays perhaps ....

I bet the three of them is gonna scold me stupid for crying over this . Sigh .

I've never gotten tired of this song . Its so nice .

I feel like i'm a fool , i cant see it , nor can i feel it . Maybe i've had enough .

Maybe you were just lying to make me feel better . I rather you tell me the truth .

You wont ever know how many times i've really cried for you , starting from the day i liked you .

2010-08-23T13:15:00.002+08:00

" Reminisced "

I miss school .

These pictures are all so long ago ! Hahaha . Anyway , i'm feeling so much better today . But i'm so disappointed with something . ): Sigh .

So bored bored bored !!!! Aunt Janice brought me to the doctor's last night .

She said i was really really warm , and my cheeks were red from my fever .

The Doctor didn't allow me to go to school today . Was given 2 days of MC .

But i wanna go to school tomorrow , heehee . Oh well , gonna eat my medicine now . Bye .

But i was feeling alrighttt . ): .

Love my aunt and uncle ttm <: .

2010-08-22T17:25:00.002+08:00

Wow , i feel like dying right now ): . My fever shot up to 38.8 degrees . My headache's been killing me for the whole day . My voice a bit lost , and i'm still home . I want to ask if my uncle to come fetch me , but i guess not :/ . Gonna leave house soon , tsk . Hopefully wont stay at my grandparents' house till so late ... And i don't care , i'm gonna go school tomorrow , hmph -_- .

2010-08-22T12:49:00.003+08:00

Wtf , my temperature now is 37.6 ): . I don't want to fall sick , boohoo .. I wanna go school tomorrow . Tsk . No one's home now , also can't tell anybody . ... . And , if i have to see doctor .... Ugh , MEDICINE ! I HATE IT . Later i'm still going to my grandparents house , ): . I just wish i dont vomit . Hate that feeling . Argh . =.= .

And i can't freaking decide whether i'm hungry . Plus , there's no food at home . Anyway i've got no appetite . Zzzzzz .

2010-08-22T11:28:00.002+08:00

" I'm lost once again . "

Ugh , i'm feeling so weak right now . I woke up with a really bad pain in my throat , i can't swallow . Once i swallow , it hurts pretty much . I stood up , kind of dizzy . Plus a little of headache , ): . My nose a bit blocked too . My whole body's aching . Tsk ): . Took my temperature . No fever , but my temperature was 37.1 ... booo . And nobody's home now . ):

2010-08-22T02:25:00.002+08:00

" I can no longer find my smiles . "

Nowadays i just feel so frustrated and all . Sigh . I just realised how much i hate to be at home . The minute i enter the house my mood changes , totally . ): Furthermore , i feel that my family don't even feel like one , a home which doesn't look like one . Firstly , my brother never ever consider my feelings . Secondly , my dad is so impatient over little things . Make me feel so irritated already . Thirdly , .... i guess i'm not gonna write the third reason . Fourthly , i just feel so stressed at home . Lastly , i'm always alone at home . Everyone's so busy , there's more to this , but i won't elaborate . Maybe , in my private blog as usual . Gonna be home alone again tomorrow . Daddy's going malaysia with auntie shirley and popo ... ... ... . Brother's going out early in the morning . As for me , i'm gonna be alone for 1/4 of the day . Although it's a short period of time , i hate that feeling . I'm ALWAYS alone at home . Truth is , it sucks . And i'm scared to be alone . I too , hate the feeling of being alone . But there's nothing i can do about it ... .

Sigh , i'm gonna sleep now , though i think i'm still feeling a lil full . But i'm exhausted . However the minute i shut my eyes , stupid thoughts go round my head again . And i swear , i might wake up super early just to bathe before i'm alone at home and sit in my room/living room using the laptop till i feel like leaving the house to go buy my stuff . ...

Alex said he'll come overnight this weekend , in the end , never .
I dont care whether you or timothy's reading this .
I'm tired of asking , tired of believing , tired of all your mind changing . How many times already ?

Seriously , i hate weekends . I dread them , they felt so long . I wanna go school , i want mondays to come faster .

2010-08-16T23:35:00.004+08:00

" It's hard , it's hurting me . "

I had a really sweet dream yesterday .

Supposingly its the third or fourth i've ever had .

ARGH WHY SHOULD I CARE ?! It's not my business anyway ... ): .

2010-08-12T16:25:00.002+08:00

" I'll wait , but i'll hide .. "

That picture was taken during last year's hongkong trip . That's my youngest aunt , jamie . She's so small righttttt ?! She's just graduated from NUS . Haha .

Okay , morning my mood wasn't as good . But going to school is better than staying at home . However sometimes it makes me more upset in a way . Boo . And tomorrow's friday , again . ): . Not to mention now i don't only dread fridays , i dread going home everyday . I don't even dare to step into the house . Or maybe during night time . It has nothing to do with 7th month , its just that .... I'm so stressed . ... . Plus , daddy seems to care more about her rather than me , he don't even consider how i feel . I just need time , okay ? I'm sorry that i'm sandwiching you in the center then , which i don't mean to . How would i know anyway . In your heart you only care about her feelings , what about me ? I'm so fed up , ... . You always get so impatient . ):

Anyway , lately i'm alone at home most of the time , & it sucks . Supposingly i'm gonna spend my weekend at macdonald again , or in my room studying . Awesome , -.- .

I do trust you , but i'm sorry that i can't help it .

2010-08-10T01:04:00.001+08:00

I'm really scared right now , ): .

2010-08-09T23:22:00.003+08:00

" Things might have been better without me here . "

Everything's so hard . Life sucks , and I really mean it . Today's one of the worst day ever . I hate it . Even death is more peaceful . I really wish something , or anyone could just kill me right now . I'm so tired of living .. I can't imagine whose life could be worst than mine ? I'm really jealous , envy of others ..

Right now my eyes are badly swollen for almost a whole day of crying . I only stopped when I fell asleep halfway on the sofa at my grandparents house ... Maybe i was crying to sleep , but i couldn't fall asleep . Eventually , i did fall asleep . That's a good thing since my aunts didn't know i was crying , i wouldn't have known what to say to them .... And i regret punching the wall like seriously -_- . My knuckles are aching , supposingly this is the second time i do this . You guys must be thinking i'm under some sort of depression . I'm not . I'm really tired of this stupid life of mine , I've been tolerating for a long time . ...

My day started off in a lousy way , oh well ... And it got really worse . Went back to grandparents house then , which i'm glad we did ... I had the urge to run out of the house when something happened . Or should i say , when we were on the way to my grandparents' house as well . Only when i boarded the bus then i recalled i've forgotten to take something really important to me .. The only thing which can probably make me feel better .. But my mind was in such a mess that i've forgotten .. ): . It wasn't possible for me to go back home to take it anyway , so i just let that thought slip off . Apparently , i couldn't stop my tears from rolling down through out the whole journey , and it's so embarrassing i swear . But i couldn't help it ): . Everything sucks .

Also , I've got no excuse to go out tomorrow since Shen Ee last minute had something on and had to get my wallet during the holidays ... I wonder if i'm disappointed or relieved . I want to stay away from home , but i also have got no mood to go out . Boooooooo .... ): I wouldn't want to stay awake right now , but i seriously can't fall asleep . And if i'm home alone tomorrow ... Sigh . Venting everything out in my private blog for now might be the best way i guess . End here , bye .

I guess this time it's my fault , i caused everything . Even if it's not .. I'm always being blamed . It's alright .. I suppose i'm used to it after all ... However , i'm certain it's my fault this time .. )':

& I couldn't believe what i heard .

Where were you ? You've said you will always be there for me .

I felt really hopeless . I could do nothing but cry .

I was really afraid and lost .

I wished i could have texted you , i don't know .
I realise i've became so dependent on you ever since .

2010-08-09T01:17:00.006+08:00

" My heart sank as darkness took over me . "

Today , or should i say yesterday , since its 1 plus now . Had quite a normal day , but a little more to the fun side i guess . However , my mood's kind of low now , and perhaps , so low that i really , really , felt like crying . And at the same time , one other thing's bothering me too , because its just a few days away . But the biggest problem - which may seem a bit not in the least important - , bothers me alot alot . Yet , i'm trying to deny it , deny that i know what's going on , and what's running thru my head right now . But denying doesn't seem to help either . I clearly know what's going on and what i'm bothered by , what i'm thinking of . Sigh , nevermind .... I'm too full to sleep , and too troubled to sleep . This might be the last time i'm gonna stay up so late , until september . Because ... I don't really wanna elaborate about it . Paranoid , you know , i dread this part of the year . Boooooo ...... I shall elaborate more in my private blog , bye .

Happy birthday , grandma . ( heartssssss )

Yep , those are my cousins , my only cousins . From my mother's side . I've none from my dad's side , kind of sad . If there is , i'll probably be very close to them . But then , i love my cousins , though our age gap are big ... And how cousin eric used to bully me when i was young . Haha , but he's so much better now of course . And Celine's my only female cousin . No doubt , my cousins are cheerful , really envy . Though i dislike my mom's side family because of their arrogance .... And i mean honestly . But still , i guess there's no way things can change since they're my family after all , and we're related by blood . Well i shuddered at the thought when my uncle and grandma told me to eat more cus i'm skinny ... which i don't really think so . I totally shuddered at the thought of eating more , i seriously think i wouldn't . I feel that i'm growing fat , and i dislike that feeling . Or maybe i'm just paranoid about almost everything ... Oh , and keep your comments of the photos to yourself , ...

Great , i didn't exercise today .

Though it might be a joke , it just hurt so much to me . But .. is it really right for me to care ?

2010-08-07T20:39:00.001+08:00

" Somewhere i can find happiness "

I SWEAR I'M GONNA BURST ONE DAY LAAAAA WHAT THE HELL !!!!!!!! ):
Screw this life , i wanna drop dead , like NOW . I don't know why should i even continue living this meaningless life . ZZZZZ .

RUIN MY MOOD , OR MAYBE , WORSEN MY MOOD . EFF .

2010-08-07T19:32:00.002+08:00

Sigh , i feel so nauseous now . I felt like vomiting as i ate my dinner , but i still managed to finish it though . And the atmosphere at home now is so creepy ... I hate it . Guess daddy quarrelled with auntie shirley again , -_- . Things always happen . Sigh , supposingly since small till now , i've been hearing arguments and quarrels between my parents . No ending at all . ...

2010-08-07T17:02:00.003+08:00

My throat's been hurting ever since i woke up , ): . Sigh . I drank loads of water , but , no change . Normally if this is so , i'm bound to have a bad sorethroat the next day , or it hurts much more at least . Argh , i'm so bored laaaaaa ! ):

2010-08-07T01:47:00.002+08:00

" A picture may not be perfect , but contains a tons of beautiful memories . "

Yeah , that's my sec 2 camp class picture . I can say , 2e2 hardly have class pics . Oh , but ... This picture does has a lot of meaning behind it . <:

For this two months , i never knew our instructors had FB -__- . They tricked us , but when i searched , i couldn't find too . Because i didn't know how to spell their name . LOL . I totally cried again ): . I can't forget about this camp , tsk . I know i should be asleep now , but i got distracted by tht picture and started looking through FB . HAHAHAH . I'm tired now , bye <: .

2010-08-07T00:02:00.002+08:00

" What if i'm gone one day ... "

Wow , it's such a boring day today ): . But i got really tired and fell asleep for an hour or two in the late noon . Was awake around 7 , started doing my exercises . And cool , i had bread with milo for dinner . But anyway , eating too much bread will make me grow fat .. And i've been eating a lot of it recently , sigh .

Oh , wonder what to do for this long weekend . I should really study , but , no motivation at all , boohoo ): .

And i'm so in love with merry christmas mr lawrence's original version , as well as the one sang by utada hikaru . Its so peaceeeeeeeful . <:

My throat's hurting a bit , wasn't feeling well this morning . But was fine after that . Hopefully i'm not falling ill , tsk . ):

Well i was spending my time searching the net on more information about life , and came across a really interesting website . Haha . Guess i've nothing better to do . I should get some sleep soon now , i must try to sleep earlier . But i can only do that if i eat my dinner earlier .. I can't sleep with my stomach so full >: . Gonna do my stretches now and off to bed .

You'll always be the one i love the most .

2010-08-05T21:00:00.002+08:00

" He's always worth it . "

Hi , i'm somewhat alright today . Hahah . P.E , didn't do much , but mengdi sure is good at batting , (Y) . And the way gerldine threw the ball was damn cute and hilarious please , hahaha . Alright , maths , i failed . And then i got really worried and everything . I'm afraid for exams .. ): . Sigh . Science totally had no mood . And then i fell asleep . I've been sleeping a lot nowadays , sweet . AMC competition was kind of hard around the last few questions . Boo . I'm so tired . Gonna sleep around 9.30 or 10 . FOR SURE I HOPE SO , :/ . Since i'm tired to read or study , i shall sleep early . School ends at 10.30am tomorrow , its so rare and , i wish it ends later though . But at the same time the desire isn't there .

IT'S SURE GONNA BE A BORING DAY TOMORROW !! ): .

and i freaking hate someone right now , although i swore not to . but that person doesn't deserve to be my friend , or even my respect . in the first place he doesn't even respect me and cares about my feelings . and whatever rubbish . and he's s THICK-SKINNED . that's the end of our friendship . too bad , you're exceptional . Someone i really really hate , ever since how much i've hated you when you just continued doing things i dislike , and being selfish , and lying or so whatever , or being so act and harass me everytime i told you not to when you said okay , like what shit la . I've given you alot of chances to be my friend , but since you dont want it and don't even respect my own privacy , like you're some sort of person . ASSHOLE . Dont you ever harass me ever again . I'm never gonna talk to you again , ever . -'- LIAR . READ CAREFULLY . ESPECIALLY PEOPLE LIKE YOU , I HATE DISHONEST PEOPLE AND PEOPLE WHO DON'T EVEN RESPECT MY PRIVACY . I MEAN WHO ARE YOU ?! I DIDN'T EVEN GAVE YOU THE RIGHTS . SO WHAT ?! ITS STILL MY PRIVACY YOU FREAK . ZZZ .

If i ever say i don't love you anymore in the future , i'm lying because i'm afraid that if i admit it i'll lose you even as a friend.

2010-08-03T17:17:00.003+08:00

" Maybe i shouldn't care much . "

I'm definitely deprived of sleep . I'm so tired !!!! ): . Especially in class . But i didn't sleep , only during science . However , Geography totally kept me awake and making me much more sleepy at the same time . Sleepy because the air-con is way too comfy , but it is also SUPER DUPER COLD . Because i'm directly under it , and i couldn't stop fidgeting . HAHAHAHA . Should have brought a thicker jacket instead ): . And what the hell , i just found out home econs didn't need to print out . ... Oh well , in any case i think i also wont get to sleep anyway . At least i've completed it .. Now i'm left with ipw to finish , and that's it for the day . I'm sleeping early tonight . I somehow dont feel that well , i feel hot all over , like my temperature's slightly higher . But i took my temperature and its only 36.8 . Hmm . I won't be surprise if i fall sick tomorrow . Ha . I shall go complete my work now , bye .

Yes , i'm jealous , but ... what for ? There's no reason for me to be .. & Maybe i shouldn't think that much . Sigh .

2010-08-03T05:32:00.002+08:00

I WANT TO SLEEP !!!! ):

You must be wondering why i'm online right now . Simple . I didn't sleep at all , and i was on the comp the whole night . Not playing , but i was doing my home econ . Though it isn't supposed to pass up today, (Tuesday), i needed to print out and stuff . Plus ... I didn't want to trouble my dad since i'm going to print my ipw stuff too anyway .. Yep and so i didn't sleep . I'm bound to doze off a thoussanddddddddddddd times later in class . .... . Bye .

2010-08-01T22:43:00.005+08:00

" I'm such an unhappy girl , today . "

Yep , i hate today . Shall not elaborate , going to try sleeping soon , bye .

Maybe no one's hand was out there to support me if I stumble all along .

2010-08-01T01:52:00.002+08:00

" They were just dreams and will never be reality . "

Hi , sort of have no mood right now , but i dont wish to elaborate much . Did maths homework today , it's so hard . Sigh . Wonder if i've got time for home econs homework tomorrow , or whatever . I somehow wish the time would pass very slowly before tomorrow comes . Didn't eat much during dinner today , hm . And i wonder if i should go to sleep now . Although i might not be able to fall asleep ... Perhaps some rest might do me good , but i will always go into stupid thoughts . -.- .

Ah , whatever .

2010-07-31T12:23:00.002+08:00

" Because i woke up only to find myself in a strange darkness . "

In the end , i didn't exercise last night . Only did my stretches . I fell asleep on my bed for one or two hours i think ? With the laptop on .. Hee . Until i woke up at 1.30 , i went to wash up , did my exercises and off to bed . After this post i'm going to do math homework , <: . Hopefully i'll start studying today ........

Woke up and sounded as if i'm having flu , and my throat hurts a little ): . Sigh . I suppose i'll be doing my glutinous rice balls at night or tomorrow morning , i woke up kinda late . I woke a few times , but continued sleeping , although i set my alarm till 10 am ... And i ignored it . :/ . Oh well , shall blog again later . Wonder how i should do my ipw ... ):

2010-07-30T21:59:00.002+08:00

" The smile on your face lightens up my day . "

Hello , second post of the day . My uclers are hurting me pretty much , i tried a really stupid thing the past few days , for a while . And there now i have ulcers . However i suppose it does work a little . Hee . Maybe its the structure of my teeth that's why . I'm not gonna elaborate on what it is , since it sounds pretty retarded . And , once again i'm so full . I thought of skipping dinner but there's no way i'm allowed to do so . And weekends are the two days when i have to eat , quite a lot . Because i have no particular reasons for my parents explaining why i wanna skip my meals ): . But sometimes i just dont feel hungry at all . Anyway , i'm too tired , and my eyelids are closing already , though its only 10 plus right now . Perhaps i shall go and relax on my bed in the air con room , letting my deep thoughts conquer my mind . Which i usually fall asleep right after , hahah . Alright , i shall end my post for the day , goodbye <: .

I wonder where you are , what you're doing .

2010-07-30T20:56:00.004+08:00

" There's so much words left unspoken , but its as if i've forgotten how to speak at that moment . "
I realised that ever since that very day , i've already fallen in love with you unknowingly . As the days passed , i fell deeper .

It rained for almost half the day , and therefore it was really cold today . Quite an ordinary day though . I'm still unsure of how to do the pop art ): . But Laura , Yuri and Shen Ee were kind enough to help me out <: , thank you , especially shen ee . He actually helped me through out even though it was recess already , and he didn't get to eat . I'm so sorry , but i really appreciate your help , hee . We spent our english lesson today discussing about our class tee , finally . Because its compulsory for national day , the whole school's gonna wear our class tees on next friday's celebration . But , i don't suppose our tees can be done by friday anyway . At least we have our class tees this year already , awesome . Waited for almost 2 years .

Stayed back in school , bought lunch since i was hungry . However when i sat down , i lost appetite . Ended up staring at my plate of food , and read my book , and looking around in my dreamy world . Still , i managed to finish my lunch , which took approximately 45 minutes ? LOL . Left school around 5.30pm , headed to northpoint to get some stuff and homed . Didn't get to swim , but , its okay . Perhaps i'm gonna to do some light exercises later on . Soon i'm going to do my maths homework , heheh . IM DOING RICE BALLS TOMORROW ! :D

IM NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THE WEEKENDS .

Except for waking up late , which is the best part , ha .

Whenever you approach me , my heart beats pace up . I've gone all speechless , but to smile silently within my heart . And its just so hard , to forget that look from your beautiful eyes . It s so hard to resist because you have the ability to make me smile .

2010-07-29T21:01:00.007+08:00

" Right at the moment , i felt so insecure "

SCREW ALL THE ANIMAL CRUELTY AND ABUSERS/KILLERS IN THIS WORLD !!!! ):

Oh my god i can't believe it , i just watched one video on animal cruelty . AND THEY KILL DOGS FOR MEAT IN CHINA ! ... . I'm so digusted , hmph . Seriously , i almost cried while watching the video . Its gross and so damn cruel please ! Sigh , how i wish animal cruelty would stop but .. ): .

SCREW THEM !!!

Well , my mood's kind of like shit right now . I have no idea why . I just finished my science homework though . Lucky i managed to complete english and maths last night before studying for the chinese test today . I'm so tired right now , i slept almost midnight recently pretty often . Today's test was fine , but i'm paranoid about forgetting some things which i missed out in the letter writing , tsk . Oh , Geography lessons are really enjoyable , sorta . Had Art Club today , nothing to do so swept the art room , outrageous . It's damn dirty . I even dugged out all the litter under the sink , which is A LOT . All sort of things in there , hah . Dismissed from CCA around 5.30 , dropped by the hall for like 10 minutes before heading down to the canteen for some fruits , and bused home . Managed to swim 16 laps only today . Could have swam 20 , but by the time i was at 14th lap , no one was in the pool already . It totally interrupted my deep thoughts before that , and i tried to kick away all my fears of being alone in the pool by continuing with my deep thoughts , however to no avail . So i quickly swam my last 2 laps , and headed back home for a bath . Since i swam 30 laps yesterday , 4 laps lesser for my usual amount should be alright . Had dinner , didn't want to drink the soup until i realised its my favourite soup . So .. I'm pretty full right now . Since i hardly eat during recess and lunch , i felt extremely full since i ate my 3 meals today . Gonna have a hard time sleeping later on .

And daddy said i have to wait till september till the oven can be repaired . Why ? Because they said that the parts for my oven are not available yet as they are out of stock . ... Sigh . Oh well ... I had a somewhat a nightmare , it seemed so complicated , i'm not too sure what it's about , but i definitely am sure that i felt really insecure . And then i woke up soon after . Which i think it was 6am at that moment ? Or maybe earlier than that . Can't even remember whether i fell back asleep . Right now , i just don't feel the sense of belonging and warmth at home . I wish i could just disappear into thin air , or maybe just go out and take a walk . Perhaps .. I'm dreading home lately .... And Friday is one of the days i start to dislike . Because its the last day of school for every week . And i would usually decide to stay back in school because i don't feel like going home at all . ... Awwwww . And i'm almost half way through breaking dawn . The story's kind of interesting . However i've yet to watch my eclipse , zzzz .

Sigh , i need to borrow camera from auntie shirley for my ipw . I have to take pictures and finish my assignment by wednesday for presentation . And there's coursework for home econ to be finished as well .. ): . For no reason i suddenly felt so frightened to even open my mouth to utter a word to her .

I'm dead beat , i'm gonna sleep by 10 . Not gonna study for maths already , i've took out the textbook and some foolscap and yet ... My eyelids are kinda heavy . God .

Lately , im just feeling so insecure most of the time . Its as if everything around me's becoming a world of darkness , and everyday's like a nightmare to me .

&imissyou,much.